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2) "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ." Eph. 5:21 There is no room for selfishness in a marriage. A wife and a husband must be subject to one another. Are you willing to give in to this person? Or are you going to insist on your own rights and your own ways? Is there any aspect of this person you will find it difficult or impossible to yield to - habits, personality quirks, lifestyles, relatives, children?
3) "Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church." Eph. 5: 22-23 (Amplified Bible). Lady, have you chosen a man you can look up to?
Is he more mature than you spiritually? Will you be able to trust his leadership? Can you follow him and know that he is smarter than you are? You really need to pick someone you can respect and submit to in every area. Otherwise you are going to have unresolved conflict and strife. And that will turn your marriage into a conflict of wills and eventually a war zone.
4) "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Eph. 5: 25. Guys, can you love this woman as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her? Are you willing to lay down your life and all of your self interests for your wife? Are you willing to give up your hunting and fishing expeditions, your bowling league, your coon dog, your mother and father - all your self interests for this lady?
Jesus Christ gave his literal flesh and blood for the church. You won't be required to do that but you must love her enough to sacrifice your own life if you were required to - and giving up self interests and selfishness may be almost as painful.
The question is - can each partner put the other first, put the best interests and comfort of the other above their own? There will be no problem where both partners are willing to give 100 percent to the other and keep nothing back for themselves. Wives have no trouble submitting to a husband who loves them as Christ loved the church and is willing to demonstrate the servant's heart that Jesus demonstrated.
Husbands should have no problem laying down self interests for and loving a wife who is willing to yield her will to his in every matter.
This is a true demonstration of the love of God where each partner is willing to totally submit to the best interests of the other. This attitude will bring heaven to earth for that marriage and is truly what God intended marriage to be.