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Exactly what does she mean by "secure"?
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Exactly what does she mean by "secure"?

We received the following comments by email. What do you readers think?

I have talked to a lot of people on pages for a lot of years. I knew I'd probably never find a relationship doing that. Why you ask? (Negative thinker you surmise?) Well, actually I'm just being realistic. I know that masses of people are hurting in these places, and probably the Lord is going to have something for me to do besides make them think there lostness is a good thing.

Take the first lady I saw in your profiles here for instance."Seeking secure man" the ad says. What do you think she means? Secure in Christ? Secure that he is provider, and that I don't have to save up for tomorrow as Jesus directly commanded? Secure that he has gone to prepare a place for me, and I don't have to love this world or anything in it?....:-)

 

No...you and I know exactly what she means. She means she is looking for a guy who turns away from those in need and saves up LOTS for tomorrow for him and his special someone. Unfortunately, you and I also know that this attitude is why most marriages break up. It's called selfishness. You can't sanctify it. You can however give refuge to it. Ever had e-mail from a prophet?

Well, I'm just a chip farmer (silicon chips ) but maybe what I'm saying tonight will help you establish the only Godly web page on the net for this sort of thing, aside from one other I saw that was even more crude...just a listing, but I could tell that the owner of the page said "hmm. I need to pray about whether I should let these people even advertise here! I mean, I'm trying to build people up in Christ, not tear them down by ushering them into a bad relationship. If I sense a problem, I need to tell them and not let them post an add that will make, for example, a poor brother like yours truly, feel demeaned."

I'm not demeaned at all of course, but I'm not hopeful that I'll find any woman amongst this swirling wierdness who could love mewith the love of Christ. They all seem focused on outward and worldly things primarily. Find me an ad that says "I want a guy who loves people and gives everything away". I just don't see it so far. Think I should sign up. :-) -Bob

Editor's Note: I think probably what this single lady means by "secure" is that she is not interested in a man who will want her "keep him up," especially at a time in life when both would like to rest for awhile. Life is hard sometimes. Women and men need to make wise decisions. Financial stability should be a consideration in any marriage. Marrying a penniless person or one with massive debt is, I think, a mistake - especially after a certain age. Two adults, both in good financial circumstances, have the best chance of making it in marriage. Money problems are one of the primary causes of divorce.

I think the love of Christ would say. "Get out and get busy. Shoulder your own load. Don't put an unnecessary burden on your neighbor and don't expect some other Christian to keep you up. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Love encourages. But love tells the truth. and does not make excuses for people.

Christians are redeemed from the curse of poverty, as well as every other curse listed in Deuteronomy 28. See Galatians 3:13.

If a Christian is still living under the curse of poverty or sickness, it's simply because he doesn't know the truth or has not learned to walk in it.

Get in God's flow of finances and you won't have to be jealous because other people have plenty and you have lack.

A revelation from the Word of God of your redemptionwill bring you out of poverty. Just as a revelation of healing will bring you out of sickness.

===============

 

 

Here's a comment from one of our single readers to Bob's message

 

You asked for comments about the ad asking for a secure guy. I think you're right about the kinds of security you mentioned, but there is another kind of security that is very important, at least for me: the sort of personal security that doesn't need to cut a woman down to size so he can feel big.

Realistically, there are brilliant women, successful in their professions, greatly talented, and spiritually mature. These women (I speak from experience) have great trouble finding a man who is not intimidated and threatened by them. The men use (misuse) scripture to justify their point of view. The same God who made Ruth also made Deborah. Yet there seems to be a teaching fad going around among the churches, at least in our area, that is back to that hyper-hierarchy mentality, and views women as spiritually deficient children who must have a man to see that they don't go astray. I heard a teacher from England say in a Sunday morning sermon that every woman must be under the authority of a man (father, husband, or church elders), or else she becomes a thing of the devil.

He went on to say that women don't know how to dress so as not to provoke lust in men, and that he always checked his wife before she went out the door to see that she was dressed properly.

The overall balance of the scripture, New and Old Testament, regarding the relationship between men and women before God seems to be missing. As a respected college professor, I would find it difficult to convince anyone that I am a cutesy little featherhead who needs a big, smart, strong guy to keep her out of trouble-and few men seem to be able to cope with that. I'm loads of fun, but threatening to insecure men.

 E.Y. (CA)

Do you have a comment on this letter or any other letter or article printed in Singles Scene/Spirit & Life? Send it to the Editor, P.O. Box 310, Allardt, TN 38504.

 

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