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It really irks me to read personals ads which state that the person does not wish to correspond with divorcees. I would dare say that these people who judge others, regardless of the circumstance, will remain single for a good long time.
I now let God use me to warn others about the evils of divorce. It is especially sad to see so many Christians divorcing. God's perfect will is for families to stay together. Jesus told the Pharisees that Moses allowed divorce because of "the hardness of your hearts". It is no different today.
There are no winners in divorce, and the children are the clear losers. I have obtained some statistical facts on how people (especially children) are affected by divorce. Divorce produces: 63 percent of youth suicides, 85 percent of youths in prison, 71 percent of high school dropouts, 70 percent of youths in state-operated institutions, and 90 percent of homeless and runaway children.
Children of divorce are two to three times more likely to suffer from emotional or behavioral problems than children who still live with both natural parents. Children of divorce face a one-third greater risk of dying in any given year than those who still live with both natural parents. Children in fatherless homes are more likely to: Be absent from school, perform less well on standardized tests, drop out of high school, and be sexually active. As adults, they are more likely to: suffer from poverty, receive welfare, have children out of wedlock, divorce, and engage in alcohol or drug use. Seventy percent of all men in prison grew up in fatherless homes. Nineteen million children do not live with their fathers. Forty percent of children do not see their fathers in a typical year. Divorced people (even if they remarry) live an average of three years less than people who stay married for life!
I think anyone can see from these statistics that God is not in divorce. Is it any wonder why God said that He hates divorce? Satan is the mastermind of divorce. He is out to steal, kill, and destroy, which is exactly what divorce does. He also likes to cause division. When you have division, you have weakness. When Christian families are divided, it weakens the Body of Christ.
D.G. (M32577)
Dear Editor:
Not all divorced people are a bad risk:
Obviously the person who made the statement "Divorced people are a bad risk" has never been through the hurt, pain, and sheer agony of a divorce.
About 6 years ago my wife of 20 years came home one afternoon and told me that she had been having an affair with my best friend. That in itself hurt but I was willing to forgive and forget, to start over and try to make our marriage work. For 2 or 3 weeks everything seemed to be great. Then one afternoon as I drove by my friends house on my way home from work. I saw her car there. Yes, I was concerned but I thought "well maybe she's just getting around to telling him that is was over".
One month later I came home from work and she told me she didn't love me anymore. She was in love with my best friend. Needless to say she left.
I was devastated. I loved her so much. Suicide crossed my mind but I had two sons and I didn't want to hurt them. For the next two weeks I stayed at home waiting for the phone to ring. I was convinced she would be back. Needless to say it never happened.
It wasn't long before she called me and asked when I was going after my divorce. I told her I wasn't sure if I was. I told her if she was in such a hurry to go get the divorce herself. She said that she didn't have any grounds and that there was no way she was coming back. So I went and got the divorce. The pain and the hurt were so great. I'd cry like a baby for hours.
Then one afternoon as I was riding in my car I thought of a scripture verse I had learned in Sunday School when I was a child. "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy ladened and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) Right then in the midst of all my sorrow and tears I gave my life to Jesus Christ. Immediately after that the hurt and pain started to ease up.
In Matthew 5:32 the only reason for divorce is unfaithfulness according to the scripture. When I married my exwife I had all intentions of being married to her till death do us part. I tried so hard to make our marriage work. I was willing to forgive her but she wouldn't stop the affair. She told me she didn't love me anymore and she wanted out. Maybe I gave up too easy I don't know. I've asked myself that question 100 times since the divorce.
One thing I am sure of now. Our marriage didn't have Jesus Christ at the center of it. This is why I subscribe to Single Scene, hoping to find a Christian lady to share my life with. If and when I get married Christ will be at the center of our home.
Not all divorced people are bad risks. Some of us are loving, caring, sincere, honest, and truthful. We need your prayers and encouragement. The wounds do heal but it takes a real long time for the scars to heal. As I look back on 6 or 7 years of being divorced and see how far God has brought me I just want to praise him all the more. God has blessed me with two wonderful sons and a beautiful little grandson. Truly all things do work out for the good to them that love the Lord.
D.C. - ME